If you follow any of my social media, you know that pretty much the only time we HAVE to leave our house, is for our morning of ballet/story time and again on Sunday for church. What wild lives we live. I’ve grown quite fond of our routine, and it gives me that content rhythm that I always dreamed of as I imagined a family. “Bringing my sweet little girl to ballet and to the library with a quiet baby in tow and meeting daddy for lunch after”. The baby is rarely silent throughout the entire morning, and Ben is often busy or out of town, but it’s still our little routine, and the mornings are all about Hattie, so we’ve both fallen in love with our Wednesdays. Although we’ve spent a lot of the summer taking little trips here and there, we still have ample time to just sit at home, learning and loving on each other, my girl and I. Her little brain is impressive to say the least, and our time together lends much opportunity for her to birth some pretty funny “quotes”.
Life with Hattie can be quite interesting, and I make note of every quirky thing she says for our family memory books, but I didn’t want to deprive you all any longer, and so, a From the Mouth of Hattie series is upon us, beings that Ben’s was such a breath of fresh air. Hold on to your britches partners, we’ve got a stallion on our hands.
Some are actually funny, and some are just grammatically funny because it’s so evident how a toddler’s mind works, but you get the picture…
After Todd Anthony’s first set of shots in response to Ben asking if he cried
Hattie: de doctah made him cry, daddy, him did!
Ben: Do I need to go and spank that doctor?
Hattie, in the most dramatic voice imaginable: No Dad! Hims just a man!
In response to seeing a pistachio shell discarded on my dinner plate
Hattie: Look Mom, a pecan in you bowl
Me: Actually, it’s a pistachio
Hattie: Actually, it’s a shell (dramatic emphasis was added to both actually and shell…)
After an insistent arguing match with her Honey that centered around her claiming a penny was “money”, and my mother in law trying to assert that it was a “penny, which is a form of money”
Hattie: I bet you don’t know what this is Honey?
Hattie: NO! A penny.
Her response to me adding fresh lemon juice to her water.
I said I wanted wung (water) not yemma-ade
After helping her Daddy let the cows into our horse pasture to snack on the rye grass, they witnessed the donkeys bothering our horse. They shouted at them to stop, but when they didn’t listen Hattie had a better idea.
We should go get mom, they’ll probably listen to her.
While watching me nurse the baby…
Hattie: Is that side milk?
Hattie: Is the other side juice?
It’s also refreshing to hear her in a public place respond to the baby’s crying with:
Mom, give him your breast accompanied by a nice little head nod and push of his head toward my chest.
Ben: Oh God, it’s going to flood again next week
Hattie: Don’t say Oh, God Daddy!!
Ben: Okay, Hattie
Hattie: You say, “Yes Mam” Daddy
Ben: Yes Mam
Hattie: Good Daddy, don’t do it again.
Ben: Wait, what just happened?
….I believe that falls under, “getting schooled by a toddler”
On a particularly whiny day..
Hattie: Can I have a kiss, Hattie?
Hattie: No, Honey
Honey: Please, Hattie?
Hattie: You can have just a “yittle” one.
In the hall of our church while I calmed the baby from fussing.
Me: Please stop talking so loud, we’re in Jesus’s house, and that isn’t nice.
Hattie: As serious as serious can get, Jesus told me I could talk.
As I’m fussing at her for disobeying one week while Ben was away at work she walks up to me and starts to hug my leg affectionately and sympathetically says:
It’s okay, it’s okay, I know you miss Daddy… Gold metal in “how to smoothly change the subject goes to….”
While our house cleaner is dusting the fan blades Hattie asks her why she is doing said act. Sirena responds by explaining that she’s cleaning them so the dust doesn’t make Hattie sick, then she lets out a little cough.
Hattie: God bless you
Sirena: Thank you baby, but that was a cough.
Hattie: Sometimes I cough too. I use my elbow though.
One chipper morning as she walks out of her bedroom and greets me with a hug:
Hey my precious girl, can you fix me some milk?
While driving in the car…
Hattie: Mom, are you happy? (repeated 4 times simultaneously)
Me: Yes baby, I’m happy.
Hattie: Did you hear me the first time?
Hattie: You should have answered me then.
Ben: We need to go take a bath Hattie.
Hattie: I already tooked one this morning. I’m not taking another one.
Ben: I said you have to, and I’m older than you so you have to listen to me. How old are you?
Ben: Do you know how old I am?
Hattie: Older and a half.
I tell her an exaggerated tale while I take a bath and she sits by and listens about a little girl who lost her pacifier (pipe) in a terrible twist of fate.
As the story ends…
Hattie: I’m glad I’m not her…
While drinking juice at the library’s toddler time:
Hattie: Yum! Strawberry pinecone!
As a blue heron flies by as we ride around the farm with Ben.
Mom, that’s a bald eagle.